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My persOnal insights on aikido, karate, macrobiotics and daily life applicaTions
I want to present to you a fresh perspective on learning, which applies not only to aikido, but to life in general.
I first started martial arts with karate. I learnt quickly and was soon recognised for an outstanding ability. I excelled in state and national tournaments, I received "most outstanding student" awards. But then I started aikido. I felt like I could do nothing right. I was being corrected every few seconds. This was so hard for me and my ego, being the amazing karate expert. I went home and cried after classes. However, I knew aikido had so much to offer, so I persevered. A while later, I started just feeling great after classes. No more of this being so upset. What happened? Most people would probably answer something like this: "You got better at aikido and started to feel more confident because now you could do it well." But in fact that is very wrong! Yes, I improved. In fact I am always amazed when I look back at how far I've come and all that I've developed in aikido. However, at every class I go to, even after fifteen years, I never stop feeling like a beginner. Every single class has something I've never done before. Something confusing. Something that's too hard. Something I'm not good at. So I've never really got to feel like I'm "good at" aikido. So what happened? I let go of feeling like I have to be good at it! If you feel you know something and you can do something, you're not learning anything new. Trying something new, extending yourself with something that's too hard, that's called being alive! If you are just doing what you can already do, you're pretty much dead. Energy has stopped flowing. You'll feel good about yourself in your ego, but you'll feel empty too. You're likely to get bored soon. Also, if you think you know something, you're actually wrong! No two situations are the same. In aikido, you can never know a technique. Yes you can know the movements, but this new interaction with your partner is different. The height, weight and shape of your partner may be different. Their level of energy might be different. You need to feel the situation and adjust your technique accordingly. And if you have a good teacher like I do, they will constantly get you to try new variations on familiar techniques. If you feel you know this situation, you're wrong! This is life. Every moment in life is new and fresh. Don't be stuck in your knowledge from the past. Yes, use your knowledge, but be open to being aware of the difference in this moment. Let go of having to know. Be open to feeling the flow and freshness of this moment. Enjoy being confused! Confusion is just letting go of being stuck in your logic, so you can fall into something deeper. You fall into intuition, you fall into life. Life is bigger than what your human brain can think, bigger than your knowledge, bigger than what you can do. Life has to be felt. Feel the moment, flow with the moment, enjoy this, and you will feel life!
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