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My persOnal insights on aikido, karate, macrobiotics and daily life applicaTions
Sorry to start off by possibly sounding pessimistic, but sometimes it seems like almost nobody knows to how really listen! Now this is not a complaint, as I am guilty of it myself too. Rather, I am taking the time reflect on the difficulty of listening properly. I will aim to end this post with some tips we can all use to try and develop this most difficult art.
How does this relate to Aikido? Remember, Aikido is a reflection of everything in daily life, including our verbal interactions. Martial arts are often practised just like our usual interactions, one person attacks, the other person blocks and launches their own attack. This is like two people speaking. One says something, they other sort of gives a minimal response and then focuses on getting their own point accross. Both people trying to attack each other in a fight. Both people trying to speak their own point in a conversation. Neither really fully receiving the other. Aikido, however, is different. We fully receive and blend with the attack. We let the attack be fully expressed, received and joined with. Only then, once the attacking energy has dissipated, do we return our response, which is not purely our own response but rather a combination of the attacker's energy and our own. In a conversation: using Aikido, you listen fully to the other person without adding any of your own ideas. You aim to fully hear and fully understand their point. Once they have felt truly understood, you speak your point, combined with the understanding you received from their point. And this is real communication! A rare gem. But back to the focus on listening. Most of the time, people are too preoccupied with their own ideas to fully listen to the other person. You may think you're listening and understanding, but this very idea might be stopping you from really listening and understanding. You may be analysing what they're saying, with your own theory in your head. Invariably, when you respond with your own ideas like this, the other person doesn't feel fully understood. Some tension will remain in the interaction and the relationship. We need to develop what they call in Zen "empty mind", or in some Eastern Traditions "mirror mind". Imagine your mind is a pond on a full moon night. Your thoughts create ripples and rough water. Does the pond clearly reflect the image of the full moon? Only when the water is still will you reflect the moon perfectly. The Aboriginal people have a beautiful concept called "dadirri", often translated as "deep listening". One practice I learnt from an Aboriginal person is to focus on fully taking in nature (or even a less natural environment) with full awareness of all your senses. You just become fully aware of the sights, sounds, feelings, even smells and sometimes tastes, feeling all of these entering you as energy, not thinking about them or making judgements. This is a very relaxing meditation you can do any time. You can extend this to your interractions with people. When someone is listening, just have full awareness. Fully receive their words, tone of voice, facial expression, body language etc. without your own thoughts or judgements. You will gain a much deeper understanding. If everyone did this, we would all feel a lot more calm, understood and connected. And that is the meaning of Aikido - true harmony!
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